“I know when to go out / Know when to stay in / Get things done”

Why did David Bowie start his otherwise totally rip-roaring song ‘Modern Love’ with this quiet little declaration? It follows only the scratching guitar intro by Stevie Ray Vaughan (that’s right, the then-unknown SRV played on this track and throughout Bowie’s 1983 “Let’s Dance” album), and it is apparently apropos of absolutely nothing as far as the rest of the tune. Why? Who really knows. But you can scarcely imagine the song’s buildup and progression without it, right? That spoken part, somehow, really sets up the whole thing.

Similarly, spoken intros make up a critical function in quite a few other popular songs throughout history; some quite drawn-out, others extremely brief, but all now inextricably connected to what follows them. How many songs? Well, I’ve got exactly 22, including a number of submissions from my friends Lev, Petey, and Ike – who was actually the one to recently suggest covering this odd subset of “songs that begin with the spoken word.”

And, it’s important to note, one undeniable leader of this newly-defined category has definitively emerged from the group. Stand by for that big reveal.

A full playlist awaits below, for your spoken introductory pleasure, but here’s a quick overview:

We’ve got standout turns by David Bowie (as cited above), Meatloaf (who seemed to have inspired this whole examination), Prince (whose sermon was deemed worthy enough to override the long-standing anti-purple poser policy here at SMGM), and Donovan (on a song many will rightly associate with the pitiless demise of Billy Batts in “Goodfellas”).

There’s Tina Turner (offering an explanation as much as an intro), The Manhattans (with a minute-long breakup monologue), The Standells (getting ready to tell you about their town and the quality of its H2O), and The Shangri-Las (asking the immortal question “Is she really going out with him?” long before Joe Jackson).

And in between we’ve got our featured contributor, the one and only Mr. Barry White. It turns out that the unmistakable “Walrus of Love” began a whole lot of his most popular songs with his unique form of sexy dissertations, getting the ladies going long before the music even did. I mean, you knew it, but maybe, like me, never focused on the full extent of the tactic in his hit-making formula. Five selections are presented here, and it’s highly unlikely that covers them all.

Please enjoy the brand new SMGM playlist “Spoken Song Starters,” which we hope speaks for itself. One thing we know is that these songs will not leave you speechless. But, if you can think of any other qualifying tunes that have been missed, by all means feel free to speak up (no introduction needed).

*A reminder, open the playlist in the Spotify app so, critically, you can hear the spoken beginnings of the songs and not the random middle section that’s played in preview mode.